Finding Hope
by Crescendo-noise-is-dead
Summary: "Snow,what did we do..Hope how could we put him through this...Why didn't he ever say anything?" Lightning's voice was breaking, and Snow, he was clenching his fist eyes glued to Hope, "Hope...I am so sorry." he whispered softly. Nothing is as it should be, they all knew it and he would strive to fix that mistake. He didn't know it, but they all knew they belonged together. Re done


**_Snope fanfic yes please! Couldn't help myself and things are so hectic here, and writing on my phone isn't easy, Since I can't update any of the other's until I have a computer again this will be my primary cause the other's updates are nearly finished but I can't access them from my phone since they are on my hard drive. I don't own any of the characters obviously. If they are out of character I apologize but this is my fanfiction. I don't like Serah at all and there will be serious Serah bashing. Rated M so don't read it if you don't like Mature content *Hint hint* there will be sex?...Maybe *Grins* I just couldn't stop my imagination from conjuring this hope so please enjoy. Re-edited and constructed for your viewing pleasure and a better story._**

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**Hope lifted his head the white and black hood obscuring his features from view, a small inaudible gasp left his parted lips as they made a perfect oh. What he saw made his heart stop, not from fear, but from the longing and electricity that seemed to course throughout his whole entire body.**

**It was as if some invisible force had taken control and kept his eyes riveted to the male heading towards him. Hope could not for his very life look away.**

**He was tall well over six feet, but it was not height that gave him a sense of power. Nor was it his shoulders, which were intriguingly broad, nor the muscles that seemed to ripple all over the man's body- especially his chest.**

**Light golden blonde locks-as if kissed by the sun, determined dark baby blue hues...Hopes emerald orbs drank everything in from the black bandana- light blue vest over his black shirt that hugged his body just right- to the black baggy pants with the striped blue scarf hanging from his belt. **

**All of it was topped off by the the black gloves, gray boots and the beige trench coat with the frayed ends, and that was topped off by what looked to be a cat pendant type necklace...**

**However it was none of these things that seemed to give him a sense of power.. The power came from somewhere within the man.**

**It was in his bearing, the very way he held his head. Almost as if he were born superior-yet his eyes spoke otherwise, they were filled with suffering, regret, compassion and anger.**

**He was a god of old come to seek justice and shelter those he deemed worthy of his protection-**

**Hopes eyes slowly drifted back up, he was absolutely fascinated with the man and when their eyes meet it shook Hope to the very depths of his soul.**

**Something told Hope, that this man either going to destroy him or save him- a terrifying thought for his fourteen year old self.**

**Hurriedly he sucked a much needed breath into his aching lungs, lightly shaking his head as he adverted his eyes.**

**He had already let himself linger on the man's physique more than proprietary and common sense allowed...and then he spoke.**

**His voice was piercing- so full of authority and compassion- piercing his heart like a wayward arrow and making it nearly stop...**

* line breaker*

Sweat poured down his face as he bolted up in his small bed, his breaths coming in short uneven spurts, his aching body trembled. Not from the cold that his ratty old blanket tried to fend off- or the heat that it did little to supply. No it was from the vivid imagery of the first time he laid eyes on Snow Villers.

Shivering the thin silverette pulled his knees to his chest, as the image replayed over and over behind closed eyelids.

Hope had the urge to scream his pain, rage, and hopelessness. A small bitter laugh tumbled past his lips, leaving the confines of his sore throat. Could he not even find a shred of peace in his dreams?

Opening and closing his eyes several times he desperately wished that he could turn back the hands of times. That they had never saved Cocoon, call it selfish but he would rather die than to continue to live in this hell.

He was so weak and pathetic…Tears trickled down his face- how long could he last here? Live like this? The answer was simple and unwanted- 'As long as that demon wants.' Hope sniffled suddenly having the urge to go and pee.

Shuddering Hope slipped off of his cot, the manacle wrapped around his ankle rustled the chain that was attached to the bed post. It stretched as he stumbled trying to find his way in the dark, he wasn't allowed to have the light on when it was past seven.

Hope felt along the wall until he found the door into the bathroom, going in he then patted everything down until he found his mark. Hurriedly he relieved his bladder and then patted his way down to the sink and washed his hands.

Sighing the silverette made his way back to his 'bed'. The mattress squeaked as he eased himself down, his nose wrinkled at the smell of mildew and mold. However he had long since grown accustomed to the smell.

Hope didn't know when he fell back asleep but once again he dreamed of Snow and his reunion with Serah…

"**SNOW!" Serah's voice rang out, as she appeared with Dajh- Sazh's son.**

"**SERAH!" Snow screamed her name, in near disbelief.**

**And then they were running towards each other, Snow wrapping his arms around Serah and spinning her around before setting her down...Hope ran forward and then stopped before even coming anywhere close to them.**

**He only spoke with Lightning but a few moments before Serah was there taking her attention as well, and then Snow…**

"**Hey come on the apologies can wait! We have a wedding to plan don't we?! You are going to allow it aren't cha?" Snows words that were meant to be so joyous...well it stabbed at Hope's heart.**

Tear's silently streamed down Hope's face as he was sleeping, it was a dream he couldn't shake- finally there was nothing and he could finally sleep without dreams plaguing him. However it wouldn't be long before he was awakened.

Hope went flying from the bed as a booted foot sent him from his visit to oblivion, and to the cold hard floor. A silent moan of pain left his lips, and his side from where he had been kicked ached something fierce.

"Get up you pathetic piece of shit!" Bartholomew's words were cold, dersive and full of disgust.

Apparently Hope wasn't moving fast enough for his daddy dearest liking. His body tensed up as he heard the sound of his Father's belt unbuckling up, he was only half way up struggling to move with his side in such pain.

He only had time to fling his hands out in front of his face, a loud scream tearing from his throat as the belt came whistling down. Bartholomew knew better than to leave marks on Hope's face but everything else was fair game.

His son's cries only egged him on, the leather was thick and supple only the finest for him. It licked all over the ex-L'cie's thin fragile body. Sneering he wielded the belt like a whip, he put his whole weight into it.

"The fuck's wrong with you boy? You know better than to disobey me! I tell you to get your lazy ass up and you fucking do it! You just love making me hit you don't you! Your fucking sick in the head! No wonder nobody wants you!" He snarled, eyes glittering cruelly.

Hope couldn't hold back his cries, they only grew louder in volume as his pain continued to mount- tears leaked down his face like waterfall, and every breath he took burned- feverantly he prayed it would be his last breath.

Blow after blow continued to reign down onto the small feminine body- It didn't stop until his sire's arm grew tired- then and only then did the belt go back to holding up his pants. By this time Hope had blessedly passed out.

This peace however was not meant to last long, the safety it provided was only an illusion and he was never truly safe. Snorting in disgust Bartholomew snorted tossing his head as he calmly walked up the stairs grabbing a pail of ice cold water, coming back down he threw it on Hope making him shoot up with a loud cry.

The ex-L'cie grabbed his side as his whole body rippled in excruciating pain- and now mind numbing cold, the silverette clenched his jaw- eyes squeezing shut as if to block it all out. Yet the pain persisted.

"You're going to take a shower and go get dressed for school, I want you to look your best. After all you have somehow managed to graduate, and my colleagues for some reason wish to be there to give you there congratulations." Leaning down Bartholomew unlocked the maniacal.

Hope didn't need to be told twice, he didn't want another beating. Hurriedly he got up and headed up the stairs, his body throbbing and blackness creeping up into his vision. He didn't dare stop moving or complain.

Finally in the safety of the upstairs bathroom, he could breathe easy.

First thing first, Hope turned and locked the door a small sigh passed his trembling lips as tears welled up into his eyes. Managing to walk over to the shower he turned it on and then turned his back pulling his shirt off and dropping his boxers.

He looked in the full length mirror, large belt shaped bruises covered his body- he was an assortment of different colors. Yellows, Greens, Purples, Blacks, Red, and Blues his whole entire body was covered in them. The only part to escape was his lower arms, neck and face and even then that was no relief.

For the millionth time he found himself asking why?

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Snow didn't know what to do, he couldn't take it anymore! All the screaming and fighting was driving him crazy! Snarling he picked up his glass of whiskey and threw it at the wall, it shattered into tiny crystal shards like his and Serah's relationship.

Snow didn't notice Lebreau until it was too late, thankfully she turned away at the last minute. Raising a brow she didn't comment on his mess as she walked over to him. Snow lowered his eyes feeling ashamed by his actions.

"I've known you a long time Snow Villers, long enough to know that you know better than to throw things- especially in someone else's home and place of business." She was scolding him yes, but she done it teasingly.

"yeah I suppose so...I- I'm sorry Lebreau...It's just everything with Serah.." Shaking his head he leaned back in his seat, back cracking as he did so.

"It's fine Snow, just watch it...and next time make sure it isn't filled with expensive liquor." The brunette offered him a wink and smile, as she set a beer in front of him.

Slowly the tension filling Snow escaped his body as he cupped the cold bottle of alcohol. He thanked his lucky stars everyday that he had friends like Lebreau and Yuj...If Hope were here, he would give Snow that angelic smile and lightly nudge him in the side and tell him to cheer up because everything would work out...Snow closed his eyes heart clenching.

From the look on her 'Fearless' leader's face Lebreau knew just who had crossed his mind. She wasn't blind, hell none of them were. Snow didn't start having problems with Serah until Hope had left.

It was like the kid's leaving woke Snow up from what she liked to call the "Serah effect". Snow was no longer the blind young man he had been, he could see what Serah was doing. Why he chose to let it go and continue on with there farce of a relationship she couldn't figure out, it wasn't like snow loved her.

The same could be said of Lightning, she hadn't been the same either. She no longer tolerated Serah's yanking her around by her chain. Lightning let Serah and Snow be, and more often than not she would silently take Snow's side when she knew Serah was in the wrong.

Lebreau always wondered if Serah wasn't the reason why Hope left...The silverette had seemed so content in Grand pulse with them all, and then suddenly he was just gone. The whole gang had adored the boy, always cheerful and optimistic and willing to help them out any time he was needed.

Hard to believe that it was only three years ago that he and Snow were sitting in newly constructed bar laughing and carrying on like a pair of young lovers...Sighing Lebreau decided it was time to let Snow in on the...secret?

She may not know the young boy as well as Snow and the rest of the ex-L'cie but she did know he loved Snow and his boomerang...so why had he left them behind. It was something that had been plaguing her for a while.

However Lebreau and the rest of Nora had decided to keep it hidden, in the beginning they had all thought that Hope just needed space after receiving his letter that he had returned home to be with his father.

Now...now Lebreau doubted that was the case, it was the only letter they had ever received despite the dozens of letters they had sent.

"You miss him don't you?" The brunette finally asked, after shaking her head to clear her thoughts.

"Yeah, I do...Hope, he's a good kid and I thought we were growing close...I wonder if he still practices with his Nue, he always loved that thing" he interjected before going back to what he was originally saying "...guess he...guess he just finally woke up and realized that he couldn't be friends with his mother's murderer." Snow smiled bitterly.

"That's not true!" Lebreau was quick to rebuff that claim, running her hand through her hair. "Look Snow…" she let out a soft sigh. "Well shit...I guess there is something I should have showed you along time ago. We all just thought it was best to keep it hidden, we didn't want to add salt to the wound of his leaving."

"What are you talking about?" Snow's voice was suspicious as he looked up.

Holding her hand up, she signaled for him to be quiet and stay where he was. It didn't take long for her to make her way to her room and rummage around in her closet and grab Nue- Hope's boomerang.

They had all agreed with how devastated Snow was to keep it hidden...but now it was time for him to see it and face his demons. Perhaps if he took it to the kid and saw him, he could gain some peace- and then she might be able to rid herself of this nagging feeling that his leaving hadn't been of his choice.

"Close your eyes Snow." She called out before sighing and coming back down the stairs and hiding it behind her back.

Approaching the counter she took his beer away from him, not wanting him to throw it if he wound up getting angry again. She sat the boomerang on the table with a small clink, It made Snow open his eyes.

Nue...That was Nue! Hope! Hope was here?! Snow stood so fast his chair toppled over and crashed to the floor, frantically his eyes scanned the room, he desperately searched every nook and cranny but his favorite Silverette was no where in sight.

Snow grabbed Nue clutching it to his chest, he cradled the weapon gently as if it was an extension of Hope. He didn't understand, if this was here why wasn't Hope...and why did Lebreau have it.

"I found it, in Hope's old room when we discovered he was missing." She spoke already knowing that he wanted answer's. "I put it up, I didn't want anyone touching his boomerang and you know how Hope is about it...I didn't know he wasn't coming back...I just wanted to keep it safe for him."

Snow's heart clenched at her words, this wasn't making much sense to him! Hope just wouldn't have left without his boomerang right? Lightning had gotten it for him after all and he adored Lightning looked up to her...Something just wasn't clicking.

"By the time we had gotten the letter, the rest of the gang and I...we thought it best to keep it hidden." She finished rather lamely, watching his face.

"I..I need to talk to si-Lightning and the others…" Snow bent picking the chair up, before giving Lebreau a half smile. "Thanks 'Breau."

"Anytime, you know where I'll be if you need me." She watched him go, feeling a bit better about the whole situation, maybe they would get the answer's they had all been seeking now?

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**TBC...WELL WELL WELL LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY AND LEAVE A REVIEW PLEASE!**


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